Key Signs of An Abusive Pastor #2: Hyper Defensive About Their Own Authority
“All who gain power are afraid to lose it.”
So said Darth Sidious (aka, Chancellor Palpatine) in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. And despite being from the dark side, he was correct. The biggest motivator for those in power is often their fear of losing it.
Sadly, that is also the case with abusive pastors. Wade Mullen in his book, Something’s Not Right, makes a very similar observation: “The chief desire of abusive individuals and organizations is to attain or retain power” (15).
If Mullen is correct—and I think he is—then we come to another key sign of an abusive leader, namely that they are often hyper-defensive about … Continue reading...
5 Leadership Lessons I Learned from Ted Lasso
If you watched the Golden Globes the other night, you saw that Jason Sudeikis won best actor for his role as the lovable Ted Lasso in AppleTV’s new hit TV show. That win spurred a number of new articles about why America loved, and needed, this show so much.
So, I thought it would be fitting to repost my earlier article on this charming show and how it teaches us (ironically) about what good Christian leadership looks like:
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Looking back on 2020, it seemed like all news was bad news. We moved from impeachment to the coronavirus to the killing of George Floyd to the presidential election to multiple … Continue reading...
Key Signs of an Abusive Pastor #1: A Long Track Record of Broken Relationships
I’ve been making my way through a new blog series on spiritual abuse in the church which I am calling “Bully Pulpit”. In the prior installment, I offered a definition of spiritual abuse:
Spiritual abuse, then, is when a spiritual leader—such as a pastor, elder, or head of a Christian organization—wields his position of spiritual authority in such a way that he manipulates, domineers, bullies, and intimidates those under him, as a means of accomplishing what he takes to be biblical and/or spiritual goals.
But just having a definition doesn’t answer all our questions. After all, there’s a level of subjectivity in applying this definition. Some may think … Continue reading...
What is Spiritual Abuse?
As noted in a prior post, I have begun a new blog series—called “Bully Pulpit”—on the growing problem of spiritual abuse in the church. Before we get too far down the road, we have to pause and define exactly what we mean by spiritual abuse.
We begin by noting what we are not talking about. First, we are not talking here about any kind of physical abuse, such as hitting or striking someone.
Second, we are not talking about sexual abuse—whether that involves physical touch or inappropriate sexual conversations or solicitations.
Third, we are not talking merely about emotional abuse (though there is definitely some overlap). Emotional abuse can … Continue reading...
Bully Pulpit: A New Series on the Rising Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church
Scut Farkus.
When it comes to movie bullies, perhaps he is one of the most famous. In the classic film A Christmas Story (1983), the red-headed Scut—wearing a coonskin cap and flanked by his shorter partner in crime, Grover Dill—would often torment young Ralphie and his brother on the way home from school.
The reason this movie (and this scene in particular) resonated with audiences is because people can relate. Most everyone grew up knowing a bully in their school; someone who would intimidate, threaten, and domineer the other kids.
Indeed, bullies are part of the human experience. So prevalent, in fact, that one could easily make a list of … Continue reading...